I had a bad dream last night... I dreamed about a wreck. It was very real, and I couldn't help the boy in the car. He was crying, and in shock. All I could do is watch. It made me very sad.
The boy in the car was young - he was about 21 or so, and he was crying.
I woke up sad. It was very disturbing.
Dreams are so strange. Sometimes I love them, sometimes I hate them. There's been lots of times where I'll wake myself up and actually be crying. There's other times where I'll shoot up and have a huge smile on my face.
I love dreams. I hate dreams.
A friend and I had been talking about dreams, and we came to the conclusion that dreams are free movies you get to watch at night while your body rests. Dreams are really the only thing that's free these days. You don't have to pay to see them. The only problem is, most of the time, you can't get up and leave if you don't like it. You must see how it ends.
I've been thinking a lot today... just, in thought. My "Thinking Corner" is the rocking chair in my room. Often I'll just go in there and sit, rocking back and forth, staring at the wall, thinking. Sometimes about dreams, other times about people, and still others, my mind just wanders all over.
Sometimes dreams are the only way we'll meet people, or talk to people we already know about all sorts of things. Sometimes, dreams are an ESP for something that's going to happen soon. I've had those before, too. That's why stuff like this scares me, sometimes. If I have a bad dream, I'll be thoughtful over it all day. If I have a good dream, I'm very, very happy, and wonder, "Could this actually happen to me?" God gave us dreams... He gave us thoughts, ideas.
How can we not love Him?
I'm going to write down small excerpts from Psalms... not one in particular, but many. The last is from Jeremiah 29:11 ....
You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?
Let Your glory be above all the earth.
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.
Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done, and Your thoughts toward us; there is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, they would be too numerous to count.
I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry.
I groan because of the agitation of my heart.
Lord, all my desire is before You, and my sighing is not hidden from You. My heart throbs.
The steps of a man are established in the Lord, and He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
COmmit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.
Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently on Him.
Let the words of my mouth, and the mediation of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
What is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You crown him wiht glory and majesty.
For You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you
'I am weary with my crying. O Lord, You are the strength from my youth.
For I know the plans that I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans for good and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.
Fighting ...
- Hannah
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Beautiful Days
I went for a walk this morning and had a very excellent time. I was by myself, walking along the gravel road, singing quietly, enjoying the sun and warm summer breeze. Very nice, indeed.
I enjoyed it very much. ^.^
Life is good lately. I've got the week to get my things done, do my school, enjoy my hobbies, and on Saturdays, I get to enjoy random conversations with my best friend. On Sundays, I get to worship God and visit my friends.
The things I love about the week are waking up first thing in the morning, laying there still for a few minutes, listening to the song that my CD player decided to wake me up with. The room is dimly lit, and my white, slightly transparent curtains give the room and fresh glow. Then I enjoy - LOVE coming into the kitchen to pour steaming coffee into my favorite Japanese mug. I watch the creamer make swirls as I stir it in, and then go into my room, turn on a couple of lamps, and sit in my rocking chair. I read my Bible and pray for all of the people in my head, and sip at my coffee along the way. That's my favorite part of every morning.
Being on schedule can be hectic and stressing, but when you look back on it, it's actually very nice. I get my school done, and then get to do my favorite things. I get to draw black and white portraits of my favorite people, horses and places. I get to create random things that pop into my head. I get to reorganize and design my room. All sorts of things.
Every other day, in the evenings, I get the opportunity to support and encourage one of my dear friends. Not only do I get my physical workout throughout the day, but I get my spiritual workout by helping others.
I get to spend the whole week with my family, and some pretty hilarious meal times when dad comes up from work. It's great when he's in a good mood - you can't stop laughing. ^.^
On Saturdays, I always look forward to some sort of random, hilarious conversation with my best friend. She makes me smile constantly... especially with her "Spock" impersonation...
("Because I looove her...") ^.^ ^.^ And no, if you haven't seen the "Stark Trek" Bloopers... you won't get that! :D
And on Sundays, sometimes stressful but always worth it, I get to enjoy church and friends. And there my week starts over.
The days are beautiful, and the time short. Dance in the rain, and always try smiling.
Fighting!
- Hannah
Promise
God said, "I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth. It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you... when the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth."
Genesis 9:12-14, 16
Genesis 9:12-14, 16
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Because...
I dream because my life is beautiful.
My dreams are never out of my reach. Through Him, all things are possible.
This is why I dream. This is why I trust... this is why I hope.
Always hope!
FIGHTING!
- Hannah
Top of the World!!!
I'm on top of the world!
Yes, I am! I'm high, high, up in the sky! I'm so hyper I don't know what to do with myself.
AH! *faint* I'm really, really full of life right now. It's - totally amazing!
I had crazy dreams last night - crazy but absolutely wonderful! I took this picture the other day when I was doing my devotions - I really like it. ^.^
I love quotes. I love writing them. I love what people say. I write it down.
I'm so happy! God is so good to me - I love my family. My mom, who often embarrasses me. ^.^ My dad, who can be so funny sometimes, I can't stand it. My brother, who is the most insane person I believe I've ever met... My little sister that drives me up the wall. I love 'em all!
I'm a strange person...I'm happy, yet I'm sad. I can be that way at one time. So many thoughts of people I love, their voices, their faces. I love them. I'm often sad for them. The people next to me, and the people far away.
I love my friends, I love my family. I love. And I cry.
Soft voices, happy smiles.
Why is God so good to me? Why do I get the chances I get?
There's been so many times where I'll be on my knees praying, and over and over again, I'll say, "I'm sorry, oh my God..." and I mean it. "Why do these amazing things happen to me? Why do You give them? I'm sorry that I'm so horrible."
Sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I feel cold. A deep voice will then say in my ear,
"Don't worry. It may be lonely, but you're not the only one. Look beside you... you're not alone. Don't cry."
Life is funny. It's a delicate play with fire. Playful obstacles are life's restraints. Everything is for your heart's resolution, so keep your head up.
I love life.
I love to work. Just a minute ago, I got back from helping to unload 203 bales of hay - talk about work! I love to work!
Life is amazing.
I love the sound of music. I love the percussion, the beautiful voices. I love every strand of it.
Why is everything so perfect sometimes? So perfect I want to cry? When it seems like life can't get any better, but then you think of ways it can...
How it'll happen, you don't know.
Life is what it is because God gives us the most beautiful things. He gives us the desires we have, the dreams we have.
Life is good.
Fighting!
-Han
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Fighting
Picture from Google Images: Aragorn from Lord of the Rings
Text by Me
"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you sow."
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Sometimes we end up having to draw our swords against people we really love. We do it because we love them.
I'm going through something like this with several people right now. I don't want to discuss the battle with them, but I need to. It's easy to want to back down... especially when it's one of your friends.
I'm by nature a debating person. I'm hard headed, (often to my own folly...) and if there's a debate, I'll more than likely take it up. I've done this with my best friend before... but the only problem was, we both got perturbed at each other, even though we're SO close! Here's what I've taught myself: If it's not a life and death issue, or an issue of salvation, I'll agree to disagree.
The only problem is... that can turn into a cowardly excuse. It's hard to stand up for what you believe, isn't it?
I love, love talking with people about the Bible and explaining things - what's amazing is, already this year, I've had at least three different people in my life that need things explained to them! That's the most in only five months than I've ever had in a whole year.
I'm happy for these opportunities, but I'm also a paranoid person - several people can testify to this! I worry about how it will end. That's just me. I have to try to get over this.
Jesus calls us to take up the Sword, but He also tells us to carefully choose our fights. How will God be glorified in the end? What's my purpose for taking up this discourse?
I'm sure I'm not the only one that struggles with this - and there's lots more who just try to avoid a good debate all together. My dear mom, for instance. (Sorry, mama - I'm gonna use this example in this post! ^.^)
She hates getting into any kind of discussion - even if it's a friendly argument! She doesn't like conflict at all - which can be a good thing - but she doesn't take up things that need to be taken up. I'm trying to show her a few things here... :D
I, on the other hand, take far after my dad. We're both very passionate and we both go headlong into debates and heated discussions. But, what about having the right words?
I told my best friend several weeks back, that you always have to be ready with something to say. Don't fret about it - it says in the Bible that He will put the words into our mouths. I have a friend that calls me up sometimes, and I never know what she'll say next - I have to have my head around me so I can gently talk with her.
Be ready to draw that Sword.
We are called to battle, and we never know when a fight may come. I'm not at all saying that you should be die-hard aggressive - more than likely, the people you talk with will be your close friends! Here's one thing I always do before I get into it with someone: I assure them then, and throughout the conversation, that I am NOT angry at them. When at all possible, I try to avoid conversations like this over the phone - it's not a good idea. You can't see each other's faces, only hear their slightly aggravated voices, and don't know what the emotions are. Sometimes, you can't help it. But if you are close enough so that you can get together sometime, save it for then!
I generally state right up front that I'm a very passionate person about what we're ready to debate, and if I seem worked up, it's not at all at them. I still try to avoid appearing so, however, because it does and will make that person nervous and feel unliked.
Here's something I have to remember, that my family and best friend have told me lots of times: I'm not the one that's going to change their mind. It's not me. I scatter the seeds, and He has to make them grow. I can't do it.
Here's an excerpt from a story I wrote a long time ago, where I had been talking to someone, and it ended up in my story... it wasn't exactly this subject, but I weaved it within my characters.
Scarlett walked into the cafeteria, spotting Ian sitting alone at one of the empty tables. It was after dinner hours, so all was quiet, except for the few workers that cleaned up. She poured a cup of steaming coffee, and walked to the table.
"Hey, Ian! What's up?"
The blond glanced up at her, shrugging as he stood to pull a chair out for her.
"Not much... "
The beautiful redhead sat down across from him, stirring her coffee.
"You seem a little depressed..."
Ian sat back down, chair scraping on the tile floor. His ocean blue eyes avoided hers, looking reflectively into his own cup.
"Na, it's just..."
He sighed.
"Just Thomas."
Scarlett's heart hurt when she saw him like this. Thomas was like his brother. She knew it nearly killed him every time the Asian would defy his beliefs.
"Ian," she spoke quietly, placing a hand on his strong arm.
"He's -"
"He's what, Scarlett?" His deep voice cut in, hurt, almost scared, keeping it down to a loud whisper in the quiet room.
"Thomas is like my brother - I've spent my whole life with him! I love him so much, and I cannot make him see that he's damned and going to hell!"
His voice choked and he looked away from her. She felt like she was going to cry when under his breath he whispered to himself,
"God I can't save him...I can't do it."
Taking his hand again, the redhead squeezed it tightly.
"Ian, Ian look at me..."
Quietly his blue eyes met hers - they were glimmering with tears. She bit her bottom lip before speaking; she hated seeing him cry.
"Ian... you've been a light to him for the past eighteen years, you've done everything to show him. ...but there's something you're doing wrong."
The blond looked surprised at this comment. His eyes vividly begged for an answer.
"I am?"
Scarlett nodded slowly.
"Yes... you are trying to save him. You are the one that's trying to turn him around. Jesus is the one that saves, Ian. You are merely the tool He uses."
Ian looked back down at the table, trying to hide the tear that ran down his face.
"I just... Scarlett, it hurts so bad. It's like... like he's been shot, or something, and all I can do is watch him bleed to death. I can't help him. I want to hold his hand so bad and tell him that it'll be alright... but I can't do it."
Scarlett squeezed his strong, sinew lined hand again.
"But Ian! You are holding his hand! You're holding it every day by praying for him!"
His voice became more intense.
"But I can't hold on to him! He's slipping, and I can't keep him from falling. I just want to keep him from looking while God mends his wounds..."
Scarlett took both of his hands in hers, lifting his head gently so that she could see his eyes. Her voice was so quiet.
"But Ian... you are. God can work wonders in the worst of people... and he can use you to do it. Don't ever give up on Thomas Arashikage... you are his prayer warrior. Don't ever stop praying for him. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you sow... you are."
Fighting!
- Hannah
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Favorite Horse Videos
I decided to put up a few of my favorite horse videos.
This first one is animated - believe it or not - right after the beginning clips.
It's kind of strange at first, but I loooove it!
This is an AMAZING Andalusian Stallion in a show called "Appassionata". I'm absolutely in love with Andalusians. They are breathtaking. Small, but so, so strong and gorgeous. I adore them....
God knew what He was doing when He created such magnificent animals!!!
Fighting!
- Hannah
This first one is animated - believe it or not - right after the beginning clips.
It's kind of strange at first, but I loooove it!
This is an AMAZING Andalusian Stallion in a show called "Appassionata". I'm absolutely in love with Andalusians. They are breathtaking. Small, but so, so strong and gorgeous. I adore them....
God knew what He was doing when He created such magnificent animals!!!
Fighting!
- Hannah
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
There and Back Again
Yes, I'm back from Memorial Day.
We had an absolute blast on Saturday and Sunday - I got to go to Barnes and Noble with mom and Nathan, and was in absolute Journal Heaven - picking one was so hard! I eventually passed up the 40.00 + amazing leather journal with an engraved dragon on it that looked like it had jumped out of Lord of the Rings, and bought a small hardback one with an awesome design that says "For I Know the Plans I Have For You" on the front, along with the Scripture reference.
It's nice. :) I then bought a caramel macchiato at StarBucks and enjoyed it immensely. I didn't get a peppermint mocha, because it makes me sad.
Sunday evening, after church, we went to the pool that was in the Embassy Suites hotel. Ah. I haven't gone swimming in ages! I commenced in flipping in the water, diving after squids with my brother, and trying to strangle dad so Nate could get the water gun away from him. It was very fun. :)
Monday, we went to the Memorial Day service at Scott Brown's farm. It was very, very good, and the veterans that spoke had some amazing, tear jerking stories to tell.
I got to see some of my old friends, and talk to a very good friend who I've known for three years or so. He was a coast guard, and we talk every year. I very much so enjoy his company!
Yes, a very good time. I'm tired, though. And slightly depressed... not quite sure why. I'm a depressing person. :P
Now I'm sitting here typing away, sipping at coffee in my favorite Japanese mug, and listening to some good music. ...and my brother humming the Gladiator theme in the kitchen.
Oh, and we also went to the Museum of Natural Sciences and History in downtown Raleigh - fun... but full of evolution. (In the Natural Sciences one, of course.)
My Max says to tell all of you hello, and a hearty thanks for the birthday wishes!
Fighting,
- Hannah
Huge Humpback whale skeleton
This little boy was mesmerized by the fish! (And by my camera - he asked to see it by holding his hand out and grinning. He was so cute!!)
Isn't she pretty?? This is what the plaque said:
"1928. Miss Kagawa, one of 58 doll ambassadors of goodwill
given to places in the United States by Japan, is received by North Carolina
as a symbol of peace and friendship. She is the only Japanese Friendship Doll
to remain on display throughout World War II"
I LOVE this picture! Here my Warrior Brother stands, publicly, with his
"The Lie: Evolution" T-shirt under the huge lie, proclaimed as fact, of evolution and
millions of years. I took several pictures like this of him. I'm sure he
got more than one strange look!
Eeek! 0.0 My bro and dad with the BIG bees. ^.^
(They're bee fans, of course...)
My dad at the History Museum
They had a section for the Korean War, and I really liked the picture under this one...
The things they had there belonged to this soldier, and his name was Dan - the Korean
beside him, he said, was called "Po", because they couldn't pronounce
his name. Po was a student who became personal friends with Dan, and if you look
closely, you can see Korean writing at the bottom where Dan had him sign the photo.
The Hotel
And for some reason, I was highly intrigued by the parking deck...
I could SO see some awesome chase here. I was so giddy!
I got butterflies in my stomach, playing the whole thing out - assassin staying calm, coming down the flight of stairs as the noise of rushing footsteps above him are heard.
Walking quickly to the exit - a shot is fired. He ducks, and takes off, out into the parking deck, jumping the rail. Dripping water on the cement, dim lighting, reflections in puddles. Finally he races to the slick black Chevy Avalanche in the corner of the deck, and the ultimate car chase takes place. Ah... bliss. ^.^
And here's that coast guard I mentioned. Pete Sowell is a
great guy. I love talking with him! He's my friend. I very,
very much enjoy his company.
This is Bill Henderson. He's been attending there for several years now.
At one point, during the talks, I leaned over and said,
"I wanted to thank you for what you did, sir."
He patted my hand with his good one, and said back,
"Oh, it was a privilege, dear. A privilege."
The Price brothers
Lots of people attended - I loved the crowd!
Mr. Henderson enjoying the Swing music that was played...
You know it had to bring back so many memories for him!
This man gave an amazing story. At 11 years old, he was taken
to a German concentration camp. He lived in Poland, and still has a
heavy accent - it was a little hard to understand him.
One thing he said made me cry, as he choked up on his own words.
"Here they separated the men and women. I look, and see my mother and sister.
I wave to them, and ..."
His voice choked, and he finished with sentence with difficulty.
"... I never saw them again."
It was a very good time. I'm glad we went ...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Happy Birthday, Big Boy!
Sooo...this time last year, at EXACTLY the time this post has been launched...I was watching my Big Boy being delivered into the world! I was excitedly actually seeing it with my own eyes - infact, the whole family was! He was just coming out right at this moment...just the tip of his nose was seen.
Now he's a whole year old - strong as ever!
Happy Birthday to my Maximus!
Now he's a whole year old - strong as ever!
Happy Birthday to my Maximus!
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