Monday, January 31, 2011

In the Blink of an Eye

The soft aroma of coffee still hangs in the air - the fog's breath is frozen outside my window; over the radio strings of Classical music while the rain "pit-pat" against the door.  Cold damp air filters in, the lead gets short in my pencil.
Once again I glance outside, mind wandering out to anything except the math on my table. I thunk my head against the desk once again, mind wandering, spinning, wishing. Thoughts go 'round, 'round, 'round, never stopping. Again I remember how much I hate math. Again I wish for Spring. Again, again.
My mood is stressed with a bit too much drama spiced all throughout it. The "woe is me" type. I look back in the mirror above my desk, chewing on my pencil. I see, "Yeah.......I'm me". Sighing, putting pencil to math problem, I continue.

Last night, I was crying. A lot of things built up suddenly spilled out in the form of tears. At 9:00 at night, I was washing dishes, scrubbing, scrubbing away, watching my reflection in the dark window. Everyone else was asleep. I was praying, asking God why as more tears slipped. Suddenly, I got a sign. The power went out. Only for a split second. But, it was enough. First, light all around me, then........nothing. Black. Darkness. I realized then what it must be like to not have God, even for only a split second. Even when there's a storm raging in my life, it's not dark, even when we think it is. How horrible, horrible it must be for a non-Christian to go through a depressing time in their lives, and not have God. Even when we think it's bad, it's not, because God's there. Always. There was no apparent reason for the power going out so quick last night; the weather was fine. But it did..........and it did because God wanted to say, "Quit having a pity-party - you have Me, and this is what it would be like without Me." *blink*
That was what He said, and the message got across.
When God wants to say something, He will!

Always Fighting,

No comments: