Its not music - it's chaos.
It's loud, it's discordant.
It's the warm up before the symphony.
And it reminded me of life.
A chaotic bliss of sounds, sights, tastes; mingled together in one beautifully uncoordinated melody.
The quiet tap of the conductor on the music stand, the silence and waiting for the signal to start, and then music.
Music that blends perfectly. Music that flows smoothly.
Life that is breathed into the instruments.
This is a symphony; this is the symphony we call life.
It's quiet, it's rainy; the skies are overcast.
It's loud, it's bright; the skies are hidden.
I'll never give up, never lay it down and say 'I quit'.
It's all too important. Life... it's too important.
We win souls for Him - we use the tools He's given us.
But sometimes, those tools are invisible, bearing the label 'PRAYER'.
We must pick it up anyway, though we cannot see it.
We must use it, remember that faith helps us to see the unseen.
Its more powerful than we know - more active than we see.
And with every heartfelt word reaching to heaven, the angels are unleashed.
It's quiet, it's rainy - the day is coming to a close.
It's loud, it's bright - the night is just beginning.
When leaves start to fall, I find myself in a very thoughtful state of mind; curled up in my chair with a blanket and a steaming mug of coffee, journal open in front of me.
I woke up this morning to the sound of rain, the draft of cold Autumn air seeping in through my window.
The are the kind of days I love.
The days where I stop to think about people that are special to me, where I smile as I go through the memories I have of them and flip through the well-worn pages of my journal to read about them.
The days where I stop to do a lot of praying about anything that comes to mind. Where I go outside onto the porch as it rains and just talk to God about everything.
Everything seems to slow down and breathe a little, and when it does, I have to as well.
I have to take a small step back and look everything over and try to piece things together, wondering what happens next in this crazy, wild plot of a story.
This kind of weather makes me want to write. To weave some fantastic scene and bring characters to life.
I'm a writer at heart, even when I feel like I'm doing a terrible job and no inspiration comes.
But, I'm a writer nonetheless. Of all things I thought I'd be, it was never that.
Not long ago, someone said five simple words to me that inspired me to keep writing. Just those five words made a difference.
"I think Cafe will publish."
That was it. It made me so happy to hear that. Five words that pushed me to keep going.
Kind words from a friend are the most beautiful things to hear. Even small words. Even just a smile.
It uplifts like nothing else.
God commands us to speak kindly to one another; to uplift and encourage.
One small word can completely change a person's day, so find something kind to say to a family member or friend today - it'll make a big difference.
Autumn is my favorite time of year - it gives me this feeling inside of being alive and knowing that exciting things are going to happen. I just have to wait for them to start unfolding.
Pour your favorite cup of coffee today (after all, it IS National Coffee Day,) and open a book or your journal - dive in write, your thoughts down.
Enjoy every moment of it, because every moment, you're still alive.
- hannah
P.S. This is a mini-video I put together yesterday on a whim. Nothing fancy; just trying to capture the feeling I have when writing. :) Enjoy!
photos from Google Images - all rights go to photographers
It almost feels empty.
But it was never full.
It almost feels lonely.
But it was never there.
It almost feels sad.
But it was never happy.
It almost feels cold.
But it was never warm.
It almost feels strange.
But it was never normal.
Almost.
It almost feels full.
But it was never empty.
It almost feels there.
But it was never lonely.
It almost feels happy.
But it was never sad.
It almost feels warm.
But it was never cold.
It almost feels normal.
But it was never strange.
Time seems frozen, but it never stopped.
Time seems to disappear, but it never went fast.
What's this hurting feeling in my heart? I don't understand it.
The sun vanished behind the trees; I looked up at the sky.
I felt comforted.
Same sky.
Same sun.
But now the sun is gone. Now the sky is dark. And I feel... not here. Like I am miles away. Like... a chance slipped through my fingers like air. I couldn't take hold of it - I could only imagine.
I swallow a tight lump in my throat, and try to figure this out.
Why is it so awkward?
This is how it feels - these pictures help tell.
"We're not supposed to be here, but we are" - the words come over the TV from the other room. "And I believe that as long as God is on our side - nothing is impossible. Now... who will face the giants?"
... that quote just came through the speakers in the other room from the movie Facing the Giants...
And again.
I stand in awe.
Who will face the giants?
... I will. I have to. No matter how hard. I will. Until the end. I will.
picture from Google Images - Credit goes to photographer
It rained last night.
Not heavy, not hard - but softly; like a whisper.
Not outside my window, but in my head.
In my dreams.
He was crying, and though I don't really know him, I wrapped my arms around him, saying quietly, "It'll be alright - don't cry."
But he did. Was it him crying, or was it me? I can't be sure...
But there were tears.
One landed on my arm. It was warm, yet cold. Hurt.
Why do people have to be hurt? Why can't I help?
I want to help.
Somehow.
It was only a dream...
but it was raining.
It ran down the window, blurring the world outside.
It was only a dream, but it was real.
I saw the picture above, and thought - I don't know that person, like in the dream. The reflection, in a pool of water. Like in a dream.
What do I say in a dream? How can I help?
Don't cry... it'll be alright.
* * *
I wrote this section for a friend's book a while back, and, last night, it was replaying itself in my dreams as I hugged this person, trying to comfort. It was so strange... dreams.
"What can I do to help you? How afraid you seem sometimes, even behind those eyes. Are you supposed to laugh as if everything is alright? Each day passes by, and you still act as if there's nothing wrong. What's so great about your crooked pride? I want to run to you, but still. It's so hard, you try to act cool, as if nothing's wrong. Memories of you I once tried to erase are starting to grow on me. Come back. I want to tell you truthfully. Your heart is heavy, it's falling. I see. I worry about you so much. The promises people weren't able to keep that left you scarred and ruined. I wonder if you stay awake at night and feel sorry once again for your life, for what you've done... can you every be free?"
A rainy day in Seoul...
the streets still move, the cars still hum by, but there's something different when it rains. Things change. Suddenly, the lights inside buildings seem warmer, more inviting. You begin to wonder, just what are other people thinking as they walk by, umbrellas in hand? The water slips away, pools in the roads; a car sprays it against the sidewalk - maybe against you. Rain. Beautiful, thoughtful rain...
This video is very beautiful if you turn down the volume on it a little, and pick a thoughtful piece of music from the playlist on my sidebar.
