Saturday, December 31, 2011

I Say Goodbye -(2011)-

photo from Google - credit goes to photographer

It's that time of year again. It's time to say goodbye. 
I honestly can't believe that 2011 is over. It makes me sad in a lot of ways, but amazingly excited at the same time. It only seems like yesterday that January first, 2011 was knocking on my front door - now it's 365 days later, and my year is full. 
      So many things happened in 2011 - it makes my head hurt. Good things, mostly. Beautiful things. To sum up my year in only a few simple words, it would be this:

Happiness, Sadness, Tears...
Skies, Stars - all in, my Heaven

This would be my year. A mixture of the beautiful, the laughter, the sadness - a combination of awe, excitement, and prayer. That has been my year. Tonight, I have only five more pages to fill in my 400 page journal, all full with deep thought. I'll stay up with the lamps on until midnight, writing, praying, reading my Bible, singing, listening to music. I'll list the events of the year, writing in very small letters to make it fit. 400 pages of 2011 - yes, my year is full. So many new faces, so much love and tears. On some pages, the ink is smeared because I cried on it, on others, it's hardly readable because I was so excited. I'm writing these books for my girls to read - I want them to be consoled that their mom had the same insanities as they will have. ^_^
     It's hard to say goodbye to 2011 for a lot of reasons... mostly because it will never happen again, and it was beautiful. We're trekking into a New Year, and 
it's just a feeling, but I think it will be breathtaking. I'm excited, but nervous at the same time. Before I can breathe, it'll be time to write 

I Say Goodbye -(2012)-, and I'll be smiling at the things I said here. 

     God has been so merciful to me this year, and I can look back and see a progression in my life. I feel ashamed when I don't give Him the thought or love that He deserves. He's protected the people I love, continued to shelter me under His wing, showed me His grace, and taught me lessons - He's held my hand all year. That I can, by His mercy, call Him 'Lord' and 'Father', puts me to my knees nearly every time. I can truly say, 'I am His, and He is mine.' 

An ocean of clouds distorts our view into His skies, but they are beautiful. He's teaching me to trust; to be quiet and listen to the silence. The fact is, it's not silent - it's always working. Hope . It's always working. Even when we can't see. 
I feel like crying while I write, because the realization of the year fading is beginning to hit me. 2011 ... 
Music is playing in my ears, and it's coming from the heart. The wind is blowing...
Wind, stop blowing, this is my last letter to you. All I can do is close my eyes, and

Say goodbye

But it's a beautiful goodbye. I'll always keep it locked away in my heart. I can't stop time, though sometimes I wish I could. 

My heart keeps burning, but the clock goes on as ever, tik-tik-tok
  I can't stop time, but I can live in it.
photo from Google - Credit goes to photographer
       2011 has brought new hope into my life, and with that, new smiles and tears. Life is beautiful, and it's too short to not smile.
It's too short to not give Him the glory.
It's too short to not pray for people.
And it's too short to not live it to its fullest.

      I've made so many good memories this year. Memories with my family, my friends, the people I love. I've grown so much closer to the people I already know, and even though we can be insane, He's always in our sights. I've been able to pray with friends this year in a way that I haven't before, and we've been able to understand each other more and better than last year.
Both family and friends can give you headaches, and I'm sure I give them more than they do me  - but they've been placed in our lives for a reason, and I love them.
2011 has been full of beautiful things - amazing things - and I can look back and smile. Life is beautiful.
Bring in 2012 with hope and prayer in your hearts, giving your Maker all of the glory. Here we come....

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding...

photo from Google

I'm sitting in a dark room absentmindedly; I hear music in my ears, but I didn't turn the music on...

photo from google
Tonight... such a, Beautiful Night...


And here is my end of the year video!!!


Argentia Krystofel said...

It was a BEAUTIFUL year. Full of so many wonderful things.
Wonderful post, dear, and I did FINALLY watch the whole video, hahaha. XD
I too see how I've grown this year. I was reading my journal entries in March so that I could write some points that I remember most about that month before 2011 was over...
I was surprised to find how different I was then! My thoughts have changed so much, and probably have become much more Christ-centered.
I told Mom just the other day that you have no idea how much you 'need' to be in control until you are forced to realize that only GOD is in control and you can't do anything but pray...I think that's one thing I've learned the most this year. ^.^


Hannah Leigh said...

I totally agree.
And I'm still of the mind that the Year of the Dragon will be just as amazing, or better!!! =D
I'm exciteeeed!

Love you!
- hannah

P.S. Let's keep growing together!