When It Rains

picture from Google Images - Credit goes to photographer

 

It rained last night.
Not heavy, not hard - but softly; like a whisper.
Not outside my window, but in my head.
In my dreams.

He was crying, and though I don't really know him, I wrapped my arms around him, saying quietly, "It'll be alright - don't cry."
But he did. Was it him crying, or was it me? I can't be sure...
But there were tears.
One landed on my arm. It was warm, yet cold. Hurt. 
Why do people have to be hurt? Why can't I help?

I want to help.

Somehow.

It was only a dream...
but it was raining.

It ran down the window, blurring the world outside.

It was only a dream, but it was real.

I saw the picture above, and thought - I don't know that person, like in the dream. The reflection, in a pool of water. Like in a dream. 

What do I say in a dream?
How can I help?

Don't cry... it'll be alright.

*   *   *

 I wrote this section for a friend's book a while back, and, last night, it was replaying itself in my dreams as I hugged this person, trying to comfort. It was so strange... dreams.

"What can I do to help you? How afraid you seem sometimes, even behind those eyes. Are you supposed to laugh as if everything is alright? Each day passes by, and you still act as if there's nothing wrong.
       What's so great about your crooked pride? I want to run to you, but still. It's so hard, you try to act cool, as if nothing's wrong. 
       Memories of you I once tried to erase are starting to grow on me. Come back. I want to tell you truthfully. Your heart is heavy, it's falling. 
I see.
      I worry about you so much. The promises people weren't able to keep that left you scarred and ruined. I wonder if you stay awake at night and feel sorry once again for your life, for what you've done... can you every be free?" 

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding

Proverbs 3:5

 

Tonight...

Such a, Beautiful Night...
I'll watch for you - I'll see you in my dreams
                                             .... goodnight

Last Rays of the Sun

It's December 1st.
Take in those last rays of the warm, glowing sun.
Don't forget them.
The last 31 days of December have begun.
Remember them.

Stand there quietly, feel the North wind.
December has started, my dear, loving friend.
The sun flares in the last light;
Take it in; don't forget tonight.

Work hard, keep strong.
Use your powerful voice; sing a beautiful song.
The last rays of the sun are dying tonight;
Take a deep breath; sing and take flight

The snow will begin to fall, drifting to the ground;
Mute the noise around you; muffle every sound.
The cold branches will stand bare,
But even in this white world, I'll be there.

Listen.

December

month of

White Love

"Trust in the Lord will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

The Writer's Pen

  

 photo from google images

Ink.

I love ink. Ink on my fingers, ink on the paper.

Ink.

We have something in common, this person and I – this flowing writer's pen.

Tomorrow, we get up, write again.

Ah, yes... this weapon, this writer's pen. He writes because it's his job, I write just because, but tomorrow, we write again.

Think.

   ink.

They both go hand in hand. Thoughts in ink – the way we think; into black darkness or grainy, rough sand.

Yes, this writer and I.

Towards a Sky where Clouds Dance

photo from google images

 

It's snowing right now! The flakes are so lazy and thick - the first snow! It's already coated the trees and ground; the biting wind is blowing, bringing in the first of December.

I wrote this poem last night, inspired by my time with Caroline...

 

The rain was falling quietly outside, pattering against the pane;

yet we sat quietly, grasping warm hands, bowing heads again.

There amid the mess of clothes, books, journals and more,

we closed are eyes tight, took a breath, and from our hearts, mixed words began to pour.

Quietly we spoke at first, trying to find the right words;

the light was dim, it reminded me of a dream - this prayer of ours, again.

The first words were a little unsure, a little wondering,

but quickly it grew, with passion and true, to something strong and amazing.

A sob caught in a throat, an urgant prayer went to Heaven;

we know He hears us, from His throne, high above He knows our hearts.

This prayer, earnest and pleading: "Lord, guide us, and don't let them depart."

Tears fell quietly, just like the rain, hitting my arm, yours, again.

Hands we held tightly, quietly we cried.

For us, for many, He died.

We're here for a reason; in our lives and in their's;

every person we meet, every face we see; it's real; He's working somewhere.

The fog swirled thick, the tears, the rain fell.

"With You, all things are possible," was the plea, the prayer that set sail.

So again we prayed; something special was in the air.

A strength, a hope; this quiet, lasting prayer...

The clock ticked quietly, the digital numbers turned.

I glanced at her, she at me; something new we had learned.

Prayer with a friend is a powerful thing;

the tear that ran down a face, the faint smile, the thanks yet again.

So close your eyes; grasp a hand.

Time is in a bottle, sifting like sand.

Pour out your heart, hold their hand tight;

let it go, remember tonight.

The darkness is bright, the dream hopes are there;

Oh yes... He's working. He's working somewhere.

So close your eyes; you never know...

This may be the reason for the prayer in our hearts -

Following the cold comes the snow.

My State of Mind....

And this, my readers, is me after being up for 24 hours. O.O (*facepalm* ... I *adore* that dance. ^_^ )
This pretty much sums it up. No sleep. Running on pretty much no energy. Just the will to keep a smirk on my face long enough to type this. I'm warning you... I've gone insane. (Okay, okay - MORE insane that I was!)
Yes, it's true... I was up until 6:00 AM this morning.
The reason?

Two Girls + Lots of Talking = No Sleep

I stayed the night at my friend Caroline's house, aka, my brainstorming partner in crime, and we. had. a. blast.
I see her every Sunday, but I've never, amazingly, in 8 whole years, stayed the night! Sooo... the Kid Swap began. Yesterday, her family exchanged her little brother for me. After church, I was kidnapped and taken to her house, much to my glee, and we did the following:
Threw my bags in her room. I fussed at her for all the clothes being on the floor. She did laundry, I played task master, and we sat around giggling and listening to up-beat music. We sang together, brainstormed, and enjoyed every moment of it. (I also gave her a really cute do... she looked adorable!)
Dinner was a 'fend for yourself', which was fine with me; it's nice to do that sometimes! We skipped off to the kitchen, warmed up some really good pizza, stood around while eating it. We tried a package from Korea of dried seaweed, which was... interesting, to say the least. ^.^
We sat around, talked, laughed, giggled, and talked some more down in the kitchen after everyone had gone to bed. We were both tired, and agreed by 2:30 AM to wrap things up and head on to bed. It was dark in the kitchen as we sat at the table quietly, giggling to ourselves, clamping hands over our mouths. Finally, we scraped the chairs back quietly, and slipped up to her room, tip-toeing in the dark. Collapsing on the beds, we turned out the lights, continuing to talk. Before this, at around 11:30 or so, my throat had become very sore. By this time, I was convinced I was getting sick or something; however... that didn't stop the conversation. We discussed Cafe for quite a while, and while she was saying something about how unique it was after about an hour and a half of talking, and I swear - I drifted off for thirty seconds several times. She'd do the same, and finally, at 3:40, we were like, "we have GOT to go to bed!"
However... the conversation had just turned interesting.... we were discussing dreams. Bizarre dreams. VERY, bizarre dreams.  We were giggling and laughing so hard, I had to hide under the covers. In the glow of the red digital clock, I could see her doing the same. OOooh man... somebody help us. We were killing ourselves with confessing the wildest happenings of the mind! By this time, we'd both hit an adrenaline high, and continued to talk for the next near hour and a half on these weeeeird things. We're convinced we're going crazy. It just has to be true. It must.
Finally, I dared to look at the clock... it was 6:00 AM!!!! World record! >.<
"Caroline!" I hissed, half giggling with insanity. "We have *got* to go to sleep!"
"My mom's gonna kill me!" she wailed. We finally, with last giggles and smirks still on our happy faces, slipped into sleep for the next four hours.

 I woke up at 8:00, and saw that she was still sleeping. With a moan of a worn out mind, I stumbled out of the room and down the hall in a zombie like manner, found the bathroom (to my amazement, considering the state I was in), and brushed my teeth. Blah. The taste in my mouth was aaaawful. After doing that, I meandered back into her room, and promptly did a face plant on the bed, sleeping for the next hour. Without warning, Lillian, her little sister, comes waltzing in with a big grin on her cute face.
"Time to get uuuup!" she sings. I decided throwing a pillow at her wouldn't be very nice, so I simply rolled over, dragging the covers over my head.
"We'll be up soon, Lillian," I mumbled. She walked on out, calling, "don't forget to be!"
After about 10 minutes, I glanced back over at Caroline, who was still sleeping soundly, rolled over, and hit 'play' on the CD player. The upbeat music sent her sitting straight up.
"What the heck!?" she exclaimed, half consciously rolling over to grab the clock.
"What're you doin'?" she mumbled, repeating the face plant I'd done earlier.
"Your little sister came in," I replied, staring up at the ceiling. Surprisingly, I felt pretty good and awake, though still drowsy. Almost immediately, after one moment of eye contact, the music playing in the background, the giggling started again. *happy sigh*
That morning was lazy. After I'd showered, we lounged around in the den, both on the couch, her reading personality traits, me organizing her desktop on the computer. For lunch, we had miso soup in big coffee mugs, and stayed on that couch for at least a couple of hours. Then, starting an impromptu performance, I became Jungsu, and she became Adriana, both characters from the book, that lasted for at least 45 minutes. (It was actually pretty hilarious!)
At around 3:30, my mom came by to pick me up, but said she was going to the store for a little while. At this point, Caroline and I had been lounging on the beds once again amid a mess of mussed sheets, trying not to go to sleep, talking about good things. Life. God. People. It was an inspiring conversation. I eventually joined her on the bed she was on, and hand in hand, we prayed. It was truly beautiful. Praying with a friend is a wonderful thing. We held hands tightly, the rain pattering against the glass, fog thick outside, and tears of praise, thanks, and pleading running down our faces. Yes - we cried. I needed to cry. But... oh, it was a good sort of crying. I think, honestly, that was the best part of the whole visit. Praying together to our Maker, our wonderful Lord. How... breathtaking. It was beautiful.
Caroline, I love ya, girl. Thanks so much for the amazing time. I'm so glad we could spend it together!!! Let's always, always, always keep Him first. He's our Maker, He's our God, and we're His children. 

So, here I am, 9:25 at night, and exhausted, to say the least.
And thus I'll leave you to whatever you're doing. Ah... LIFE! IS! GOOD!
Even though I'm convinced I'm going insane... life's good. ^_^
The rain is pounding the house. The wind is whistling eerily... my bed is calling.

Goodbye, goodniiiiiiiight!!

FIGHTING!
*collapses*
- Hannah

 

Oh I'm so TIRED!!!! *dead faint* 

A Writer's Troubles: Simplified

I came across these videos via my Best Friend's blog, and though I'm not participating in NaNoWriMo, they so apply to every writer! The process is so true... to all you writers: you're going to get a kick out of this. ^_^

A Day of Thanks

 Happy Thanksgiving!!!

  What are you thankful for today?

My day was very nice, to say the least... we went to church for our service, and though it was small, and some friends were still traveling, it was good.

We went to have dinner at my Aunt's and Uncle's, right across from where we live, and there's this 'tradition', I suppose you could call it, that we do every year. We take a jar with colored decorative rocks in it, and each person gets five. We pass the jar around the table, and list five things we're grateful for until everyone's put their stone in. It was hard to pick out of the thousands of things I'm thankful for. I'll list the five for you I did tonight:

1. My salvation.
2. Friends, both near and far away.
3. The art of writing.
4. People that I've yet to meet, that I haven't quite yet.
5. The story of life as it slowly unfolds.

So, those were mine. So hard to choose! One idea I saw last year at Thanksgiving, was to take each letter of the alphabet and list something that starts with that letter. Sooo... that's what I'll do!

I'm sitting here at 10:08, tired, a little cold, and in my warm plaid over shirt, thinking about people, near and far...

The stars were so bright tonight as I walked down our gravel driveway, it was almost like you could reach out and touch them. But I can't... they're too far away. But maybe. Maybe one day.

A Amazing grace; His love to me.(And Angels – I have to mention in the same one! Smiling Angels, too.)

B. Breath. The next I take is only of Him.

C. Culture. The difference, the languages. Even though things are fallen, He is King.

D. Delight. The delights of life, the love of life. (And Dragons – I love dragons. Their strength. There beauty. Even though they're fierce – I love them. They're real.)

E. Emotions. For all of the craziness involved in being a 17 year old girl. All of the feelings that push their way to the brim of my heart.

F. Family. Blood related and not.

G. Goodness. That I have a heart that wants to help others.

H. Home. 11 years here, tucked away safely.

I. Imagination. The ability to weave unsaid tales, to dream big.

J. Joy. The joy of being alive.

K. Korea. I love Korea, and one day, I hope so much to go there.

L. LIFE. Every day is a page, every year a chapter, and every life a story.

M. Music. I hear it in my ears, though I didn't turn it on.

N. Names. The one thing given to us; what we're called by in life. Hannah Leigh.

O. Opportunities. They come and go; reach out and grab them.

P. People. I want to get to know people. People far away, people close by. I want to share His love with them. I'm a people person, and I want to help, somehow.

Q. Questions. Questions with answers, questions without... in the end, they're all answered.

R. Reason. That I'm not a dumb evolved animal with no meaning. That I'm created by a God who 'knows the plans He has for me' (jer. 29:11) – I'm here for a purpose.

S. Sun. The sun, so bright, so shining. It warms my skin; we are all under one sun.

T. Top of the world. That's where I am – He is good.

U. Understanding. The way two people can share something and not be afraid.

V. Victory. In the end, through prayer, through fighting faithfully, He wins.

W. Writing. The art – amazing art – of expressing your emotions, the ideas in your mind, and your dreams on a piece of paper.

X. … erm... what words start with x!? I could say Xavier Black... but he's a bad guy in my story! 0.0

Y. You. Whoever you are, you.

Z. Zeal. The burning desire to accomplish a dream.

What are you thankful for? Praise Him in EVERYTHING!

... I'm so tired. 

I'm thankful for SLEEP! 

*tired laugh*

Aaah... it's been a good day. ^_^

Hello, Us

And here we are, the minds behind the book. ^.^
My plotting buddy - Caroline. (And yours truly, of course; along with my favorite shirt. ^.^)
I was writing today, and thought, "You know - "Cafe" wouldn't be where it's at without her..."
So, I shall say it:
Thank you for being my support and library! =D =D =D
Honestly - she's planned so many scenes and small details with me; my book would never be as good as it's getting without her!
As you can see - this picture shouts us: everything from the shirt I'm wearing, our smiles, to the chipped alley wall behind us. Hello, us.
My friend of nearly eight years, and my brainstorming extraordinaire for pretty much every book I've plotted. (And not finished, haha!) She's the best - thanks, Caroline, for storming with me on the smallest details. >.<
It's always great to have someone to go over plots with.
So, us - keep plotting. We'll continue to wound our characters, nurse them back to health, and then hug them.

...
^.^

FIGHTING!
- hannah

 

2 Years Ago Today

Yes, two years ago at around this time, 9:23 AM, I was cold and wet, sitting with my hurting horse in the woods, wishing him to get well. Sadly, he died only a little while later. He was 28 years old, and had some sort of stroke the night before; he couldn't walk right. He'd fallen during the early morning sometime down a slippery hill, and was trapped in a big hole, straddling a log. My poor baby. We called as many people as we knew on that rainy, misty morning, just like it is this morning, and tried so hard to get him to stand. He tried, too, but couldn't. So... *sigh* We put him down. My poor baby. I miss him. He was the sweetest thing ever. Good old Red...
If you'd like to see the tribute my dear friend did for him, you can go here.
We love you, Red! Always!